mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize