I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize