is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
