your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
