On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
There's always time for handjobs
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
