Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
