dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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