In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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