Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
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