can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
