I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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