a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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