Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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