dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
