my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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