Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
NoShamevember. You game?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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