Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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