Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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