how do flat chested girls get laid?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
