You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
