There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
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Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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