Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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