don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize