I have demons in me.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
