They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
