Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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