I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Moan for me like Helen Keller
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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