Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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