we're blogging at a bar
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
