Already got asked if we're dating
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
