i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
