why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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