her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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