your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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