did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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