Sponge bath it is.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
