How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
