she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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