What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
