I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
