honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
