one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
