I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
