dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
