I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
