Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
