WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
