Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
