my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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