have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
