Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
