The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Duck Duck Cougar?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
