I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
