Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
