something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
