my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
