She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
