just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
