She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
