Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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