so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
