Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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